All posts by Wildtrumpetvine

Names Not Chosen

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Below are some of the names I rejected, understandably, while searching for an appropriate domain name.  These are all real names of wildflowers that grow in Kentucky.  I had to create some special sentences to showcase them.

American Hogpeanut:  Granddaddy has a hankering for those boiled American Hogpeanuts they’re serving at the ballpark.

Bastard Toadflax:  Our new senator has turned out to be the Bastard Toadflax incarnate.

Butter Sneezeweed:  Jack, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times:  I’ll kill you if you get butter sneezeweed on the sofa!

Corn Cockle:  You’d better stop parading around town in those ridiculous high heels, or you’re sure to get a corn cockle.

Corn Salad:  The new austerity measures require us to eat corn salad three times a week.

Devil’s Tomato: The young minister’s wife has a dark past; it’s rumored that she’s a devil’s tomato.

Eastern Gray Beardtongue:  Don’t you dare come near me with that nasty eastern gray beardtongue!

Erect Goldenrod:  Tom’s erect goldenrod is the biggest in Polk County.  (No doubt this site is already claimed)

Hairy Alumroot:  Barney is notorious for chronic misuse of his hairy alumroot.

Hoary Poccoon:  Jimmy, that Delilah is nothing but a hoary poccoon, so don’t bring her round here no more!

Hyssop-leaved Thoroughwort:  The shyster lawyer over in Raywick is one hyssop-leaved thoroughwort, that’s for sure.

Marsh Fleabane:  Ellie’s tree-walking coonhound has come down with the marsh fleabane again; she needs to keep that dog out of the swamp.

Milk Vetch:  The baby has a touch of the milk vetch but Dr. Prosser says she’ll soon be on the mend.

Mountain Spurge:  Granny was spry and sassy until the mountain spurge took her away at 110.

Pickerelweed:  Don’t let the dog eat the pickerelweed under the porch, or he’ll be puking all over the house.

Pigweed: Don’t let the dog eat the pigweed out by the privy, or he’ll be pooping all over the house.

Pussytoes (the several varieties include Field, Single-headed and Plaintainleaf): The choir director stormed out of the Ladies Circle meeting when the new Sunday School teacher called her Prissy Pussytoes.

Showy Goatsbeard:  Our new congressman has turned out to be nothing more than a showy goatsbeard.

Soapwort Gentian:  The boy’s locker room at the high school is the perfect environment for the unchecked growth of soapwort gentian.

Sumpweed:  Don’t let the dog eat the sumpweed in the septic field or he’ll be puking and pooping all over the house.

Toothcup:  Aunt Bessie has run herself ragged looking for her toothcup.

Toothwort:  Uncle Tedd won’t be at the Elks’ Club tonight because he has a terrible case of toothwort.

Turtlehead: Johnny and his buddies skipped school to hitch a ride to the Turtlehead concert in Campbellsville.