I shut myself off from the election results as they trickled in on the evening of November 5.  I kept away from all sources of outside information. I didn’t want to experience in real time the constant minuscule ups and downs as votes were reported. I was reading a captivating book.  Its protagonist was a person who committed many terrible acts, yet managed to escape any serious consequences.

I’d been hopeful about the election, and I maintained that sense of optimism throughout the night. I know I dozed off at times, because I recalled some vivid, disturbing dreams, but I was awake most of the night, reading. 

As light was breaking, around 6:30 AM, I checked my phone.  My heart sank.  “Trump, Again.”  Really?  No!  No!  No!  Wow!

We’d been told, over and over, that it would be a very close election.  I believed this.  I knew that a Harris loss was very possible.  And I’d prepared myself for inconclusive initial results.  But I had expected so much more from my fellow citizens.  Wow.  Just wow.  Maybe I’m still dreaming.  Or maybe I’m still reading. 

One of my primary reasons for optimism was the many conversations I’d had with Georgia voters during the two weeks prior to the election.  I volunteered to do something I’ve never done before:  to make campaign phone calls.  I chose Georgia because the results were likely to be closer there than here in Virginia.  I grew up in Atlanta.  I have known my share of  Georgians. 

I never answer my phone to a number I don’t recognize; I resent such intrusions.  But I felt a pressing need to do something other than donate, and I didn’t want to knock on doors.  In this age of Zoom, the task is easier than ever.  I sat at my computer and waited to be connected to voters. When someone answered, their first name would appear on my screen.  I learned to make my case quickly and succinctly.

I made nearly two hundred calls.  Judging from names and accents, Georgians are a multi-cultural bunch.  This didn’t surprise me.  My Atlanta high school, Henry Grady, now Midtown High, had been a melting pot since the 1950s.  I couldn’t believe the number of people who willingly spoke to me.  I got many hang-ups, naturally.  I got a few gruff answers.  One man loudly demanded to be removed from this “KaMAla bullsh*t.”  But most people, even those who were not supporting the Democrats, were incredibly polite.  Many peppered their answers with “Yes, ma’am,” and “No ma’am.”

I spoke to several people who weren’t planning to vote, and others who couldn’t.  Two felt strongly that neither candidate took the interests of the average citizen to heart.  One Latina woman had missed the registration deadline.  Another told me that she couldn’t vote; she wasn’t a citizen.  She spoke quickly and nervously, as if she suspected I might be the voting police.  But her daughter was definitely voting for Harris, she said.  One soft-spoken young man said he couldn’t vote, because he was a felon.  (Interesting, isn’t it, that another felon is now the president-elect?) I talked to several White women who were all in for Trump. There were a few men who were vociferously anti-Harris, and wanted to discuss.  One man, who described himself as fifty-something and Black, was convinced that Harris was an evil gang leader, who cared nothing for other Black people except to garner their votes. Despite our rather extended conversation, I never found out where he got his information.  One young White man, speaking courteously, was enamored of Trump because he said “anything that was on his mind.”

But far and away, most of those I spoke with were eager and enthusiastic supporters of the Democratic party.  Our conversations were like those among old friends; we were working together for what we hoped would be the best outcome for the country that we loved.  I talked to many Black women who were Harris supporters for lots of reasons, but often with the well-being of their daughters and granddaughters prominently in mind.  There were a number of Black men who backed Harris wholeheartedly.  I talked with a White woman who had that genteel, Old Atlanta accent that has largely disappeared.  She was as flabbergasted as I was that Trump was the Republican candidate, again.  When one young man with a prominent South Georgia drawl answered and said he’d get his dad, for whom I was asking, I prepared  myself for an earful of disagreement.  Instead, his father, with just as pronounced an accent, told me that he’d been actively campaigning for Harris and felt betrayed by fellow Georgians who were supporting “that other guy.” A man of Asian descent related how his entire extended family had assembled together for early voting, for Harris. One older man started off slowly: “It’s a hard decision.  Do I support the candidate who incited an insurrection and got police officers killed on January 6th? Or do I vote for the woman who is qualified to be president?”  Another elderly man said he’d been a child during the 1930s, and he felt, with much regret, like we’d gone back in time.

I was reassured in discovering that the majority of Georgia voters on my call list were supporting Harris.  It was, as expected, a pleasure to speak with kindred spirits.  But what surprised me greatly was that I enjoyed talking even with those who thought differently from  me.  I never felt personally attacked. There was often humor in our exchanges.  In nearly every conversation, our shared humanity was tacitly acknowledged.   We were Americans who disagreed.  It reminded me of past eras, when we could support different parties without questioning one another’s patriotism or hurling insults.  Maybe it’s just that most Georgians are so polite?  

Whatever the case, the calls left me  more hopeful than I had been before.  They give me hope even now.  I was reminded that I feel better when I engage with others, especially with those I don’t know well.  Not long ago, my daughter remarked that one of the things she had missed most during the Covid years was the opportunity to talk regularly with strangers.  I agree.  If we’re ever to break through the barriers of extreme polarization, we’re going to have to talk, and listen, to one another.  And give each other grace.  Thank you, Georgia voters, of all political persuasions, for bringing this point home to me. 

Incidentally and aptly, the title of the book that held my attention all during the long night of November 5, was this:  The Sequel. 

In my last post, I wrote about how the current Republican presidential candidate relies on a childish strategy to deflect and redirect attention from his own misdeeds.  The “I didn’t do it!  You did it!” strategy has served him well. 

There’s another infantile tactic that he regularly employs, and that’s the claim of “No fair!”.  You know this maneuver.  You grew up with it, and chances are, if you ever used it, you grew out of it.

Remember playing childhood games in the neighborhood as a kid, and there was someone who yelled “NO FAIR!” at every loss? Usually there was at least one child who absolutely couldn’t abide losing. Not at High-Ho Cheerio, or Candy Land, or Freeze Tag, or Kickball. Not even Tic Tac Toe. No game was too trivial not to be contested. I recall gently asking one such wailing young acquaintance, “Do you really think it’s only fair if you win every single time? It wouldn’t be fair, see, if I won every single time, would it? ” My reasoning fell on deaf ears. The kid continued howling NO FAIR through the tears. Apparently the concept of fairness was created only for him; it did not extend to others.

The former president clearly continues to see the world this way.  Things are only fair if he wins.  When he lost the election in 2020, he cried NO FAIR. 

He appealed to his followers. He repeated the claim, loudly and forcefully. Various media outlets amplified it. His base wanted to believe the lie, so they were hoodwinked. On January 6, 2021, they assembled at our Capitol in order to undo an election they had been told was illegitimate. Because Trump declared NO FAIR, some brought weapons, zip ties, and wore body armor. They broke through barricades, windows and doors. Most of them had been strident supporters of “law and order,” yet they viciously attacked the police who were there to defend our democratic systems. They roamed the hallways of the Capitol, chanting violent threats against duly elected representatives of both parties. They did it because their leader, their hero, had told them, and continued to tell them, over and over, that it was NO FAIR. They threatened to hang Mike Pence, their candidate’s own Vice President. What terrible vengeance would have taken place if our lawmakers had not been whisked to safety, with only a very few moments to spare?

Trump has never ceased claiming NO FAIR.  His  “unfair” election loss in 2020 has now morphed into his predicted “unfairness” of the 2024 election.  In recent rallies, he’s heavily seeding the ground, telling his followers that if he doesn’t win by a landslide, it’s because of rampant “cheating” by Democrats.  Yet again, the election is likely to be stolen from him, he maintains.  And yet again, ominously, he’s suggesting that bad things may happen if he doesn’t win. 

Why vote for an elderly version of that whiny kid who can’t stand to lose?  Ironically a vote for that candidate is a vote for unfairness.

I urge you:  vote for fairness for all.  Vote for Kamala Harris. 

*The Trump campaign filed over sixty lawsuits claiming election fraud in the 2020 election.  According to the Campaign Legal Center, a nonpartisan legal organization founded by a Republican former Commissioner of the Federal Election Commission, “The various claims of evidence alleging a stolen 2020 election have been exhaustively investigated and litigated. Judges heard claims of illegal voting and found they were without merit.”

Around this time four years ago, I made an appeal for voters not to re-elect then-President Trump. I remain astounded that it’s necessary to make the same plea again, as we face, unbelievably, a third election featuring this most unworthy candidate.

There were soooooooooo many reasons not to vote for this man in 2020.  Of course, there were plenty in 2016, including the Access Hollywood tape that should have ended his campaign and political career.  There are far more reasons now.  The list is absolutely exhaustive.  It includes, of course, his crucial role in the events of January 6, 2021.  Another worth recalling is that he is now a convicted felon, found guilty by a jury of our peers.  In most states he would be unable even to vote.

And then there are many reasons that can be wrapped up in his character, or lack thereof:  he is childish in all the bad ways, and none of the good. 

Like a spoiled, angry child, when faced with potential conflict, he follows a well-worn playbook.  He declares, loudly and with vehemence: I didn’t do it!  You did it!  or I’m not!  You are! 

Most of us can remember at least one or two childhood acquaintances who made regular use of this old familiar taunt.  It was, almost always, a blatant lie.  I didn’t kick the dog!  You did!  I’m not a cheater!  You are! 

And for most of us, the absurdity of the tactic was always readily apparent.  We knew, even as children, that we’d be called out immediately as a liar and a fraud.  Many of those who relied on it in their youth have likely outgrown it with age. 

But for bullies, who wield power through fear, and never, never, back down from the lie, it can be highly effective.

We watched as the former president brandished the strategy like a light saber, time and time again.  Others remarked on it, referring to the practice as “projection,” a psychological coping mechanism in which one’s own shameful or unwelcome thoughts or hostile actions are projected onto another.  

Whatever one calls it–whether projection or the I’m not, you are tactic, it’s one of his signature moves. 

Remember when Hillary Clinton accused him, during a debate, of being Putin’s puppet?  His reply:  “I’m not a puppet.  You’re the puppet.”

Take note of his repeated references to the “Biden crime family.” 

Three  generals who worked for the former president–his Joint Chiefs Chairman Mark Milley, his Defense Secretary James Mattis, and his former Chief of Staff, John Kelly, have all declared Trump to be unfit for office, a threat to the Constitution and to the institution of our military.  What does Trump say?   A Harris administration will be a threat to our democracy.  

We should pay close attention to these projections.  When he says he won’t do some terrible thing, but the other side will, watch out.  A second Trump term will lack the responsible minders who babysat him during his previous term.  There will be no one to reign in the whims of the whiny man-child, the elderly bully boy.  The consequences could be dire.

But we, the people, we can stop him. Trump’s Republican colleagues didn’t have the guts to do so when they could, during one of his two impeachments, or after he was voted out of office.  It’s up to us, the voters, to say, “Enough.”  We can vote for the capable, responsible, intelligent candidate who will work for us. We can vote for Kamala Harris, former District Attorney, Attorney General, U.S. Senator and current Vice President.  We can vote, not for the criminal, but for the candidate who seeks to uphold the law and make it work for the American people.