My dear mother-in-law Doretta passed away in the early hours of March 4th.  Since her beloved husband Jim left this world in October of 2022, she’d been lonely.  She didn’t complain.  But when asked, or when his name was mentioned, she’d always say, “I just miss him so much.”  She carried on, despite her sadness and the growing physical challenges of Parkinsons’ and Addison’s Disease. 

I  had the pleasure of seeing her most Wednesday nights for the past several years. During the height of the pandemic, she joined my mother and me and other friends for an online Bible study through our church here in Virginia.  As her mobility decreased, attending her local Rochester church, and getting out at all, became increasingly difficult.  Our mid-week virtual gathering had become one of her few fellowship opportunities, and she appreciated the warm welcome our group extended to her.  With my husband’s and his sister’s help, she learned to use Zoom on her iPad in order to join us.  This was quite the feat, considering Jim had always been the one to deal with any and all tech matters.  During the sessions we’d often hear Barney the cockatiel chirping away happily in the background.  Barney, like Doretta, had been bereft after Jim’s passing.  An odd, cantankerous bird, he was prone to hissing with apparent vehemence at everyone who was not his best pal Jim.  Over the past two years, he warmed up to Doretta, and the two became good company.  It was her nightly ritual to sit with him in the family room,  watching TV or reading.  She found that he got particularly chirpy during the musical performances on old Lawrence Welk re-runs.  

Doretta was determined not to relocate from her house, which she and Jim had built as newlyweds in 1965. Thanks to the help of my sister-in-law Julie, who lives locally,  several regular care-givers, many walkers and two stair lifts, one to the basement and another to the second floor, she had been able to remain in the home she loved so much.  When my husband returned there the morning after his mom’s passing, on the table beside her favorite chair, he found her Bible, some recent books from our Zoom studies, and a manual on coping with Parkinsons’.  He saw them as a testament to her quiet, patient perseverance.  Throughout adversity, her faith was strong.  Life tossed many hardships her way, but she pushed through, with a kind, encouraging word for others.  She was a light bearer in our often dark world.  It feels odd not seeing Doretta’s Zoom square on Wednesday nights, not to see her sweet smiling face, not to hear Barney’s tweets. I like to think of her in that heavenly cloud of witnesses, reunited joyfully with her darling Jim.