Category Archives: Holiday

The Gingerbread Village Relocates and Plays to a Younger Audience

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As a toddler, our daughter’s favorite playthings were the various trappings of Christmas.  She had little use for actual toys if holiday decorations were at hand.  This led to occasional minor heartbreaks when fragile tidbits fell to pieces in her insistent little fingers, but generally she knew how to handle with care.

The first year that I unpacked the gingerbread village in Virginia, D was at my side, bubbling with excitement.  She greeted each structure with much admiration, and I was duly flattered.  She helped me arrange the buildings, some in the center of the dining room table, others atop the hutch.  D could spend hours sitting on the table, setting up various inhabitants among the houses and churches, talking to herself, happily lost in her imagination.  The village might host our clothespin nativity figures one day.  The felt Christmas mice, or a crowd of Polly Pocket dolls might have the run of the place the next day.  The possibilities were nearly endless, just like a child’s busy, growing mind.

D proved to have a knack for creating attractive baked goods.  At age three, she was a surprisingly skilled sugar cookie baker.  She turned out to be a natural with a pastry bag; her royal icing decorations were top-knotch.   Before long, she was asking to help me make a gingerbread house.  I realized that she would, indeed, be a capable assistant.

Our first mother-daughter collaboration was a modest cottage.  I gave my daughter fairly free reign in terms of decoration, so it was a colorful dream of candy and icing.  The next year, we decided to go big.  We made an elaborate, turreted gingerbread castle.  It was an appropriately exuberant candy palace for a girl who chose to wear a different princess costume every day.

Because I couldn’t face the daunting task of properly sealing, packing and storing the gingerbread village, it became a permanent display in our playroom. Our old house, as I’ve said before, is lacking in closets, and our basement used to flood with every hard rain. The absence of the perfect spot to store the village was a good excuse to simply keep it out all year long. D was glad to have it as a constant companion. Every new holiday brought another chance to redecorate.  Our Christmas village had become a town for all seasons.

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D, nearly three, arranges the clothespin Mary and baby Jesus
on the roof of the thatched cottage.

My Medieval English Gingerbread Village

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Back in 1989, home from grad school one winter break, I had enough free time to try my hand at making a gingerbread house. I had spent the previous year living in England researching my dissertation, and visions of picture-perfect country villages were rattling around in my head. I loved the quaint homes lining narrow lanes, the dwellings in use since medieval times and only gaining in charm over the centuries. I was especially fond of the thatched cottages with their half-timbered facades and slanting walls. When I saw Martha Stewart’s masterful gingerbread replica of her Turkey Hill farmhouse, I was further inspired. I liked its relative architectural correctness and its conspicuous absence of frou-frou candy cuteness typically associated with gingerbread buildings.

So I set out to make a thatched cottage. I used Martha Stewart’s recipe and diligently followed her gingerbread-baking tips. I remember thinking my mother was overly uptight when she expressed some dismay at my timing; I began rolling out the dough a day or so before our annual Christmas party. Now I know exactly how she felt. Recently I was struggling to prepare for out-of-town guests when I noted with incredulity that my daughter had plunged into an ambitious beading project that required table surfaces in several rooms. Mama, please accept my belated apology!

That first house took about a week to bake and assemble. If I had thought I could finish it by the party, I was certainly mistaken. It wasn’t even done by Christmas, as that year’s holiday photos attest; it can be glimpsed in the background, roofless, Progresso soup cans supporting its walls. But by New Year’s Eve it was complete, from its Gothic windows, snow-topped chimney and roof of Shredded Wheat, which bears a remarkable resemblance to thatch.

Gingerbread is generally considered a fragile, impermanent medium. But this is not necessarily the case. Like the thirteenth and fourteenth-century cottages I so admired in England, my first gingerbread house has had a long life. It is still with us. The strength of royal icing, a mixture of powdered sugar and egg whites, should not be underestimated, and a clear acrylic spray does wonders to protect gingerbread surfaces.

During the 90s I made other houses and several churches, all in a subdued palette and reflecting various medieval periods. A gingerbread village evolved. Each January I flew back to New Jersey, leaving my mother to deal with the increasingly time-consuming task of storing the houses. She was a faithful (if somewhat understandably resentful) curator of the collection. She kept the village on display atop the hall bookcases until after Valentine’s Day, when she sealed the houses in plastic bags and carefully taped boxes.

By the time H and I bought our home in Virginia, Mama was eager to retire as gingerbread caretaker. House by house, the village began the trek from Atlanta in the back of my parents’ station wagon. I saw, with some alarm, that it would be up to me to deal with the complicated preservation demands of theoretically edible structures prone to decay.  As in every craft project, the fun is in the design and fabrication, not in routine maintenance. I wasn’t sure I wanted this new role, but abandoning the houses to the trash bin was not an option.

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The first four buildings of the gingerbread village, displayed
in my parents’ dining room in 1993.

Little White Lights, for the Season of Light

 

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I prefer to avoid overhead lights whenever possible.  They  scream institution: school, office, hospital, the DMV, and perhaps worst of all, the department-store fitting room.  They drone on of chores and unpleasantness.  Best to use them, I believe, under only three circumstances:

  • 1.  To quickly (and briefly) illuminate a dark room upon entry (to avoid falling over the dog or some misplaced, unexpected obstacle).
  • 2.  When cleaning, as in vacuuming, scrubbing floors and dusting.
  • 3.  In case of emergencies.

Nothing makes a room or its inhabitants look sadder and more forlorn than a ceiling light casting its cold and dismal glow.  The light is either too harsh or too dim.  The angle is all wrong.  I suspect there are untold numbers of people unwittingly suffering a diminished quality of life because they persist in flicking on the overhead switch, and leaving it on.  

Were they to employ a decent-looking table lamp instead of the ceiling light, a space that once appeared mournful and dejected might become cozy and pleasant.  They might find themselves inexplicably cheerier.

I’ve acquired lots of lamps over the years, mostly at flea markets, yard sales and antique stores.  Others were gifts from my mother, from whom I acquired my distaste for ceiling fixtures.  Our house probably has too many lamps.  In December, some of these are relegated to the basement.  Christmas demands a softer, warmer, more festive glow than most lamps can offer.  The outside of our house gets its special holiday treatment, and the inside is not neglected. 

During the Christmas season, the optimal sources of interior illumination, I believe, are strands of small clear white lights.  To some degree, they mimic the effect of candlelight.  Yet compared to candles, they involve considerably less mess and threat of fire.  I discovered the charm of such lights one year as we were preparing for our annual holiday party.  Now we decorate for the party and keep the lights up through Epiphany, January 6. 

White lights peek out from the ivy at the feet of the large nativity figures occupying the tops of the TV armoire and the adjacent bookshelves. They’re entwined in garlands on the stair banister, atop the secretary in the living room, the sideboard in the dining room, and sometimes on top of the piano.

They adorn our big Christmas tree in the living room, typically a blue spruce.  In the first years of our marriage, before a child came along to distract me, I spent the better part of two days wrapping nearly every branch with lights, for a total of about 1,300.   Now, I lack the time to be so obsessive (at least in that regard). 

White lights decorate our several small artificial trees, like the alpine trees above in the dining room. ( I found that one of these trees alone appears bedraggled and pitiful, but a grouping of three is just right.  We hang our homemade pinecone and cork creatures, pasta and seashell angels on these trees.  See posts from December 2011.) 

Around 5 PM each evening, as the winter night settles in, I start plugging in the many strands of lights.  (Unfortunately my husband has not developed a one-switch system, as he has with the electric candles in the windows and the exterior spotlights.)  Our rooms begin to glow, as if enlivened by tiny stars.  I am reminded that we are in a special season, a time when we focus on the miraculous light that God sent to shine in our dark world. 

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The manger scene atop the bookshelves.

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The nativity figures are so large that the magi and their well-dressed camel occupy the armoire on the adjacent wall.

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White lights add a warm glow on the dining room sideboard.

Lighting up the Night for Christmas

One of the things I love best about the Christmas season is the chance to light up the darkness with light. My husband and daughter feel the same way.  Like Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (which we watch every year), H has a vested interest in exterior illumination, although he takes a somewhat more subdued approach. There is no stapling of a thousand strings of lights to the roof, no plastic Santa and reindeer; only some carefully placed spotlights and a candle in each window to highlight the wreath above.

 

During the day, it’s evident, at least under close scrutiny, that our home has many needs: it needs painting and new siding. We really should do something about the windows at some point.  (But I like the old, wavy glass from 1920, as well as those costly to replace “true divided lights.”) None of this matters, though, as dusk falls every evening in December.  With the click of a switch in the basement, the house gleams newly white and clean. Instead of highlighting flaws, the light, like the true light of Christmas, makes them disappear.  All dreariness, all weariness, is erased. The effect is simple and pretty. One month each year, we get to live with light in the darkness. And we decide, yet again, that no home improvements are necessary for a while.

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A Thanksgiving Pig (in Turkey’s Clothing)

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Whimsical, folksy yard art is rare in the suburbs of Northern Virginia.  This sizable, traffic-cone-orange concrete pig that presides over a small residential front yard is therefore all the more unexpected.  Kiko and I discovered the porkturkey last fall when we were walking in an unfamiliar neighborhood.  I laughed out loud, and my little dog was exceptionally suspicious, even warier than he has been of his earlier nemesis, the decorative scarecrow.

In November, as Thanksgiving approaches, the pig dons turkey feathers and a pilgrim hat.  Its beak is partially unfastened, as though to allow for easy snacking.  I have seen the pig without the turkey disguise but not in other apparel.  This year I plan to check on it as various holidays near.  May we expect a Santa pig next month?  A leprechaun pig for St. Patrick’s Day, a bunny pig near Easter?  Has Porky recently shed his Halloween costume? Is he always quite so orange? I will report back as the seasons change.  Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this cheery, unconventional Thanksgiving pig as much as I do. 

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New This Year: Spooky Trick-or-Treaters

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This fall, my daughter and I spent several amusing afternoons in production of these big-headed, bug-eyed trick-or-treaters to add to our Halloween decorations.  Using a Dremel, we drilled indentations for the wooden bead eyes, which we anchored with Sobo glue.  Our goal was to create a variety of strange and crazy-looking little figures, so we rather indiscriminately raided the craft closet in search of odd miscellaneous items.

For hair, we used yarn, felt, an old shade pull, and some of the stuffing that Kiko was at the time pulling out from the toy he was attacking.  Hats are acorn caps, wooden craft cups, and in one case, a plastic spider ring.  For bodies we used small spools or corks.  Toothpicks or wooden beads form the arms.  One figure received oversized white plastic hands on springs that came with a set of Halloween pencil-toppers. We made two dogs, one with ears of pecan shells, the other with wooden bead ears.  Maple leaves from a craft punch adorn several of the creatures.  We covered miniature Nerds boxes with orange paper to make trick-or-treat bags.  Because we didn’t intend our creations to be perfect or traditionally cute, no one (and I won’t name names) flew into a rage when a slight crafting hitch or two arose.

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Ready for Halloween: Papier-Mâché Jack-o’-Lantern Friends

These two jolly Jack-o’-Lantern friends were inspired by a vintage Halloween decoration my mother found in a catalogue.  Several years ago, my daughter and I made the heads out of papier-mâché, using the tried-and-true Kindergarten method of newspaper strips applied to balloons with watery white glue. For the bodies, we wired together sticks from the yard, which we draped with muslin for the gowns.  The black cloaks were formed from two mens’ drawstring shoe bags.  The friends take their place every October on our dining room sideboard.  This year we surrounded them with bittersweet branches and used two mercury-glass hurricane candle-holders for support.

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Anticipating a happy Halloween!

From Little Pumpkin to Halloween Jack-‘O-Lantern

It’s an easy and logical progression from pumpkin to jack-o’-lantern.  Mother/baby Halloween parties across the country are crowded with crawling, crying, babbling, drooling, toddling jack-o’- lanterns.  Our first Halloween event was typical.

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The three jack-o’-lanterns at our Halloween playgroup party are assembled here for a photo opp.  The middle pumpkin took offense, perhaps at the indignity of being sandwiched between two other pumpkins.

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She continued to protest, loudly and forcefully.  The other two pumpkins seemed mildly interested, at best.

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After the party, D relaxed at home by quietly ripping the flaps off a seasonal pop-up book.

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We reused D’s jack-o’-lantern costume on her second Halloween.  As we had expected, our not-quite-two-year-old voiced no protest at having worn that same old thing last year. On her first Halloween, she was not yet walking, and the costume proved cumbersome for a crawler.  Here, at our Gymboree party, she enjoyed being a jaunty pumpkin on the move, walking, running, jumping, and bouncing.

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On D’s first Halloween, we went with some of our playgroup friends to an afternoon celebration geared to young children at the local mall.  We couldn’t justify trick-or-treating on behalf of a baby in a stroller.  But on year 2, we hit our neighborhood.  Up to this point, I had limited our daughter’s exposure to candy.  She got a few sweet treats, but, as the baby books advised, not many.  That Halloween, however, the jig was up. The great wealth of the candy universe opened up to her like a treasure chest unearthed, and she rejoiced.  While Kit-Kats were initially her favorite chocolate, she quickly developed an eclectic, enthusiastic palette.  Here, she sits in a trance-like state savoring a lollipop, the contents of her trick-or-treat pumpkin spread around her in what was then the bareness of our kitchen.

Looking Back on our Little Pumpkin

When my daughter and I were choosing our Halloween pumpkins last week at a pleasant local farm market, we were surrounded by parents photographing their little ones among the seasonal displays.  Babies and pumpkins look good together; it’s a natural fit.  Both tend to be round, fat, cute and firm.  Facebook is understandably full of adorable pumpkin/baby duos this time of year.  Our baby is no longer pumpkinesque, which is fortunate, considering she’s nearly fourteen.  But I’m prompted to look back on the years when she was, very much so.

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On our first trip to the pumpkin patch with our daughter, the chill of the late afternoon took us by surprise. We had dressed D in soft overalls and a Scandinavian-style fleece jacket, the first of a series that my mother would sew for her over the years.  But either Mama hadn’t yet made the matching fleece hat, or we didn’t think she’d need it.  Her baseball cap clearly didn’t keep her warm, and her lack of mittens didn’t help either.  Her little feet must have been freezing, in lightweight cloth tennies.  In these photos, it’s painfully evident that the kid, not quite ten months old, was borderline miserable but making the best of a bad situation.  She looks as though she’s thinking Where are we? What are these cold round shapes?  Why do they make me sit on such scratchy stuff or on a hard, icy seat?  I do, however, rather enjoy being pulled around on this thing.   

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Here, D is wedged in on the Radio Flyer between pumpkins and the bulky camera bag we were never without during those early years.  We had bought our first video camera in anticipation of our new baby, and, like so many new parents, we filmed our growing child during unremarkable moments. Look!  She’s tilting her head!  Look!  She’s blinking her eyes!  She’s lifting her hand!  Amazing!  Marvelous!  No doubt we have extended live footage that documents her discomfort on this outing even more clearly.

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The next year, we made sure to choose a warmer day for pumpkin picking.  Here is our girl surrounded by pumpkins on another red wagon.  Despite the more comfortable temperature, she still doesn’t appear to be very happy.   But I’ve never appreciated a photographer’s insistence on BIG SMILES!  I remember this day as being a fun-filled one.  I’m hoping our baby, despite her conspicuous lack of a big smile, nevertheless enjoyed herself.  I resolve to think she did, because in the years to come she would look forward enthusiastically to pumpkin patch visits. 

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Maybe now she’s really had enough!

Mother’s Day, Part I: Mama the Asthmatic Dynamo

 

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My mother suffered from severe asthma throughout most of this year’s mild winter.   It began when she and my father took a walk in early February. The day was unseasonably warm, even for Atlanta, and evidently the pollen was equally unseasonable. Mama’s allergies were triggered, which soon led to asthma that lingered and developed into pneumonia. While her doctor advised hospitalization, she resisted, knowing that her chances for recovery, if armed with the proper medications, were better at home than at the hospital. She has spent time in the hospital with asthma, and it was an experience she didn’t care to repeat.

In March she was only marginally improved, forcing her to miss a family wedding in Kentucky. For the first time in decades, Daddy made the eight-hour drive to his old hometown by himself. My parents rarely speak during long car trips, since my mother typically sits in the back seat. As a child, she was a passenger in several serious car crashes, and she saw her brothers hospitalized multiple times after accidents. In the back seat, she feels a little less vulnerable, not quite so close to the edge of disaster. Despite the silence that reigns as the miles tick by, Daddy has come, understandably, to count on Mama’s presence in the car. He felt her absence sharply during the drive to his brother’s house in Kentucky, where H, D and I met him. Fortunately, Mama had recovered by late April and was able to be with us for the much-anticipated school musical in which my daughter was performing.

The strides made in treating asthma over the ages have not been particularly dramatic. A sudden attack can still quickly accelerate into a desperate situation, as the death of the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Anthony Shadid several months ago demonstrates. He was on assignment in Syria, escaping from the war-ravaged country, when his asthma was set off by an allergy to horses. He used his medication, but it wasn’t up to the task. My mother has known this fear all her life.

Mama’s every illness tends to be exacerbated by her asthma. A mild cold, easily shaken by most people, can become a serious concern for her. Exercise and sometimes even routine daily activity can be problematic. Breathing cold air may lead to a sudden, severe attack. She has emerged from two life-saving surgeries only to be set upon by life-threatening asthma.  Mama was frequently sick as a child. Once, after a long absence from elementary school, she returned to find that her desk had been removed from the classroom.

Well into the 1940s, many doctors saw asthma as a psychosomatic condition. Those suffering from it were often considered somehow personally responsible, perhaps due to a general weakness of spirit and body. Anyone who has ever experienced the panic of an asthma attack or the persistent annoyance of mild, chronic asthma knows that, on the contrary, asthmatics require greater strength, determination and coping skills.

During Mama’s childhood, her asthma was combatted with a variety of treatments, most of which had little effect. A common folk remedy prescribed horehound candy (a naturally flavored, sharp-tasting hard candy that was a fixture in old-time general stores but rarely seen now) doused with a small amount of whisky. Although horehound candy continues to be explored as a palliative for respiratory ailments, it merely led to Mama’s lifelong dislike of horehound candy and whisky, served together or separately.

Goat’s milk was widely touted to alleviate asthma. When Mama was twelve, her family bought two goats for the farm. She never acquired a taste for the milk, but she loved the goats. Cute and spunky, they jumped the fence daily to meet her school bus in the afternoons. She had a particular affection for the baby goat born the next year on Washington’s birthday and thus named George.

Like many other asthmatic children, my mother was encouraged to smoke asthma cigarettes made from a mixture of herbs (no tobacco). Breathing the smoke from such herbs is a remedy that dates back to ancient times and may, surprisingly, have some short-term benefit. Mama remembers the cigarettes coming in a round flat tin. They prompted violent coughing fits, and her asthma was not improved.

An elderly neighbor urged a bizarre remedy that he said was sure to work: cut off “a hank of hair” and nail it to a tree. This option was never tried.

The first markedly effective medicine my mother remembers was an adrenaline inhaler, made of glass. This treatment relieved the acute symptoms but worsened Mama’s ever-present insomnia. Weekly allergy shots, which required a drive to Louisville, were of little benefit. Strangely, Mama’s symptoms lessened considerably when she began college at the University of Kentucky and started smoking real tobacco cigarettes.  Her asthma was less pronounced for the next ten years or so. With the move to Atlanta, it worsened again, but she was generally able to manage it with inhaled corticosteroids. (She gave up cigarettes when I was young, and she really doesn’t recommend smoking as an asthma treatment.)

Growing up, I never thought of my mother as weak or sick. Typically, she was, and still is, the opposite, a powerful force of nature.  She requires little sleep.  She doesn’t sit still.  She gets things done.  She takes on tasks that most people wouldn’t consider or would outsource: Time to get to work on reupholstering the antique sofa that’s been in the basement for years.  The porch furniture needs new cushions.  I saw this great dress in Vogue; I’ll combine two patterns and get it done so you can wear it on Sunday.   Let’s rent a sander and refinish this floor.  I’ll repair and gold-leaf these two old frames this afternoon, clean the kitchen floor and then we’ll give the dog a bath.  Her phenomenal energy, a product of a restless temperament, is often heightened by her asthma medication.  It’s only in the last few years that asthma has slowed her down a bit.  Throughout most of my childhood, I awoke to the sound of Mama using her inhaler, and I fell asleep to the whir of the sewing machine in the kitchen.  These were the sounds that told me all was right with the world.  Mama was there, being my Mama, who loved me, unquestionably.

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Mama with a younger neighbor, in the 1940s.  Both my parents’ families tended to favor junk heaps as photographic backdrops.
Mama explained this odd assortment of stuff  as being due to  the little girl’s family’s upcoming move.

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Mama at Niagra Falls, c. 1955.

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Mama & me in St. Augustine, Florida, c. 1970.