Category Archives: Parenthood

European Vacation, ’75: Part I: Paris

007

Yesterday, our daughter went to New York City on a whirlwind, 24-hour trip with her drama class.  The group left from the school by bus at 5 AM, and returned at 5 AM this morning.  They saw two Broadway shows–Newsies and the eagerly awaited Matilda, still in previews.  A Newsies cast member led the kids in a dance workshop. They had some free time, so I’m expecting a a full report on wandering Times Square characters.  Are the Naked Cowboys in season yet?  Were there plentiful sightings of Elmo, Shrek, Hello Kitty, Grandma Liberty and the Tin Man? How was the singing waitstaff at Ellen’s Stardust Diner?  D is still asleep, so I haven’t heard the details of the trip yet.  I’m very grateful to the drama teacher and to the parent chaperones accompanying the group.  I’m especially thankful that I was not among them.  While I enjoy New York in small, metered doses, I’m relieved that crowded, pre-dawn bus rides are predominantly in my past.

As D was preparing for the excursion that launched her spring break, I was recalling the days when I looked forward to my own eighth-grade adventure.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I had the unlikely good fortune to participate in a school trip to France and England.  (See A Small Reunion of the Rutherford Hall Gang, Nov. 2011.)  As I said then, it was a rare event for a group from the Atlanta Public City Schools to venture anywhere for spring break in the 70s, much less to Europe.  It was just about unheard of then for middle-schoolers in our area to take part in such study trips.  But we were blessed with a dynamic and unusually dedicated French teacher, Martha Elizabeth Correll.  She decided we must see France, and we must see it with her.  We loved and admired the young, fun and charismatic Mrs. Correll.  She seemed to be fond of us, too.  She found a bargain-priced trip through the now extinct Foreign Study League.  Nine of us, including several of my best friends, managed to persuade our parents that this was an opportunity not to be missed.

Mrs. Correll encouraged us to keep a journal during our trip, and naturally I saved mine.  In my first entry, dated a few days before our departure, I mentioned my vague fear of flying.  I had never been on a plane before: It couldn’t be especially frightening, could it?  Katie, who wouldn’t ride the roller coasters at Six Flags, had flown before, and she wasn’t scared.

004

Above, most of our group at the Atlanta Airport, ready to board the plane to New  York.  Several of us hold our blue and white Foreign Study League carry-ons.  Our teacher, Mrs. Correll, is at the far right, in her signature, whimsically decorated bell-bottom jeans.

My journal from the actual trip continues on the subject of airplane travel.  The flights were unexpectedly smooth, I reported.  Apparently I was expecting a roller coaster experience, despite Katie’s evidence to the contrary.  But every aspect of flying was novel and amazing, if not particularly enjoyable.  I wrote at length about the unbelievably cramped quarters on the overseas flight, the tiny bathrooms, and the unidentifiable food (my friend Jackie maintained that we had been served baked rat).

After a sleepless night on the plane, we arrived in Paris in the gray dawn and boarded our bus for an introductory tour of the city.  I recall powerfully the miserable war I waged against my leaden eyelids during my first, much anticipated hour in a foreign country. We were surrounded by legendary sights, yet the yearning for sleep was overwhelming.  After the discomfort of the airplane seats, the tour bus provided an ideal environment for snoozing.  Most eyes were closing, most heads were bobbing.  Mrs. Correll, ever vivacious, walked the aisle, rousing us.  She hadn’t taken us with her to France so we could sleep on a bus.  Once in the heart of Paris, I shook off some of the muddled fog of half-sleep.  After stops at the Eiffel Tower and Notre-Dame, nearly everyone was awake enough to feel rejuvenated by our surroundings. Avoiding sleep became even easier once we noticed that our Parisian guide, Salvador, was charming and exotically handsome (so French!).

005_edited
Rebecca, me, Jackie and Katie in our hotel room on Easter Sunday morning.

Because my expectations had been low, our  hotel was a pleasant surprise.  It had one of those old-fashioned elevators I had seen in movies, with a folding iron grille in place of a door.  Our room  was almost grand, if slightly faded.  I liked its high ceilings, ornate wallpaper and elegant fireplace. Its large size was fortunate, considering there were five of us in it.  Katie and Rebecca shared one double bed, Jackie and her mother shared the other, and I got the single.  I remember being cold at night and sleeping huddled under my coat. We had been told not to expect a private bathroom, so we were surprised to find a spacious one with lavatory, bathtub and bidet.  The toilettes, as we learned to say, were down the hall, in claustrophobic compartments. One of our friends went in one and couldn’t get out. He was finally extricated by a team of chamber maids speaking in baffling, rapid-fire French.  After that, we were all careful about locking the door just so.

014
The 13th-Century Sainte-Chapelle, built by King Louis IX.

Our three-day visit to Paris was like a fast-paced tasting menu of the city’s highlights, most of which Mrs. Correll had discussed with us previously in vivid detail.  She wanted us to understand and appreciate the history and culture of France, as well as its language. Paris came alive for us during that short time because our teacher had prepared us well.  We heard some of the Easter mass in Notre-Dame.  We saw the forbidding Conciergerie, where Marie Antoinette spent her sad last days.  We beheld the lovely Sainte-Chapelle, the Gothic jewelbox that Saint Louis built to house the Crown of Thorns.  We wandered the Latin Quarter, alive with bohemian student activity.  We explored the courtyards of the Sorbonne, where Mrs. Correll had studied.

We watched old soldiers playing boules outside Les Invalides, fishermen casting their nets from the Pont Neuf, and children sailing paper boats in the Luxembourg Gardens.  Everywhere there were Frenchmen carrying baguettes and wearing actual berets. We spent some time (not nearly enough for me) in the Louvre.  Of course we walked  the Champs-Elysees.  We cruised the Seine at night in a Bateau Mouche.  I got to witness first-hand the view I had most anticipated–the tip of the Île de la Cité with the lacy spires and flying buttresses of Notre-Dame just behind.

I loved the wealth of intricately decorated Easter candies and pastries that beckoned from the windows of small shops on narrow streets.  Never before had fruit and vegetables looked so beguiling as they did in the city’s outdoor markets.  Even displays in butcher shop windows were strangely beautiful, recalling old-master still lifes.  We ate in cafés and brasseries, and learned that a croque-monsier, an omelette, or anything with frîtes was a good choice.  We learned that French ice cream is served in minuscule metal dishes.  And we found that paying for our meals and managing francs and centîmes was as difficult as we had feared.

013
Real Frenchmen, real baguettes, and real berets.
026
Some of our group (dressed in the height of 70s middle-school style), in the gardens at Versailles.

We were busy during our three days in Paris.  But we weren’t so busy that we missed getting a sense of the city’s unique, ebullient, quirky atmosphere. Sooner than we would have liked, it was time to head to Normandy, to Mont-St-Michel, and on across the Channel to England.

Dark Secrets: Our 8th-Grade Movie, Part I

I find it a little alarming that my daughter is fourteen, and half-way through eighth grade.  It’s alarming because my memory of being a fourteen-year-old eighth-grader is fairly clear.  I remember many of my eighth-grade thoughts, and they weren’t so very different from my current middle-aged thoughts.  This brings me face-to-face with the uncomfortable realization that my baby is no longer my baby.  She’s my only child, so in a sense she’ll always be my baby.  But from here on out she will be traversing the continuum from nearly grown-up to nearly completely grown-up.  Can anyone ever claim to be truly grown-up?  Maybe after the death of one or both of our parents?  Or does this make us feel like old, lost children?  More alarming thoughts, which I won’t dwell on now.  Today I want to think about our movie.

 

I loved 8th grade.  The snags of our newly-formed middle school were working themselves out.  (See Middle-School Memorabilia, February 2012.) Once again, we were in classes with many of our old elementary school buddies, and we had the added bonus of meeting new friends.  Some of these friendships took root thanks to an experimental, unstructured class that replaced language arts and social studies.  As our independent project, my friend Katie and I made a movie.

She and I loved the movies.  We dreamed of writing, directing, and perhaps starring in our own films one day.  The logical starting point was our own Super 8 short film.  Of course it was Katie’s family that had the camera, not mine.  They had real cameras, ones with complicated knobs for focusing, as well as movie cameras, film projecters, even special movie lights.  The were high-tech.  I was wowed.  I come from an anti-camera, anti-tech family.  On Christmas morning, we would look around for the Kodak Instamatic.  If it could be located, it often lacked film, flash bulbs, or both.  One Christmas, our only pictures were taken by our next-door neighbor.  Old photos from the 1940s on were tossed at random in the drawer of the coffee table, undated and unlabeled, a practice that inspired me to take the opposite approach, to document, organize and archive.

Katie and I favored the genres of comedy and horror.  (See Movies with Friends: From Frogs to Rocky Horror to Toco Hill, and other posts from March 2012.) Our movie, we quickly decided, would be a campy, silly horror film, set in the 50s. As kids growing up in the 70s, we were fascinated by that Happy Days era, which seemed so distant. Because Katie’s mother and mine had saved most of their clothes from that time period, our costumes were immediately at hand.  We also had lots of comical wigs and odd accessories that begged to be modeled.

mid-March 027

We spent Saturdays and school-day afternoons writing the script.  To us, it was side-splittingly hilarious.  I have several copies of the final four-page script, typed by Katie and mimeographed at school.  It was a silent film, so the narration and dialogue were hand-written in a flowery cursive and filmed, panel by panel.  Our working title was The Underground Horror, later finalized as Dark Secrets.  It began promisely enough:

The date is 1957.  Leonora Fieldcrest had just moved into old Ravencroft Cottage on Shepherd Lane.  Knowing that the apartment in the basement was rented to a certain Dr. Marc Welby (whom she had never met), did not hinder her.  Perhaps
she should have thought more carefully.

Our set was the home of our friend Rebecca, who would play Leonora’s “old school chum” and spunky gal reporter, Amanda Duff.  Not surprisingly, Dr. Welby (we considered this name choice an example of our use of sophisticated irony) was up to no good.  He was building a creature.  His laboratory was a squalid subterranean room, the door of which had been painted, years before, by previous homeowners, with the ominous warning:  Operations Shack!  Scram!  Rebecca’s basement (really a cellar, rudimentarily finished and typical of the 1930s-era homes in our neighborhood) simply cried out for us to film a horror movie in it.

Katie took the role of the creature, and I played Leonora.  We recruited two boys from our class for the male roles:  Dr. Welby and Leonora’s butler.  Everyone in old 50s movies had a butler, it seemed, and we needed another guy.  Katie filmed the scenes she wasn’t in.  Her older sister took care of the others.  Rebecca’s younger sister and her friend served as gaffers and gophers.  We relished tossing around such film jargon.  Because the next-door neighbors had a cute little dog named Buster who was always underfoot, he was granted a role as Leonora’s puppy.

006

The entire cast, pictured above, from left to right: Amanda, Leonora, the Creation, standing menacingly, Dr. Welby, and the butler.  It’s unfortunate that not a single still photo related to our film was in focus.  I haven’t seen the movie in years, but I’m sure it’s not this blurry.  I’m uncertain of the source of these pictures.  Evidently they were taken before Katie got her very own good camera; at which point she became the primary photographer of our collective youth, known for her creative (and clear) photos.  She has enjoyed a successful career as a photo-journalist for the Indianapolis Star newspaper.

002

Dr. Welby, at work in his Operations Shack.  He laughs in a villainous manner as he puts the finishing touches on his Creation, whose red plaid skirt is visible.

001

Me, as Leonora, with Buster the dog.

007

Amanda, just arrived from Kansas (on her bicycle),
hands her little suitcase to the butler.

003

One of our funniest jokes (we thought), was the awfulness of Dr. Welby’s basement “apartment.”  Here, Amanda and Leonora snoop around while the doc is out, observing personal mementos on the table beside his bare foam-rubber mattress on the floor.

004

At Amanda’s insistence, the two friends sneak into Welby’s inner sanctum.  Leonora brandishes an Indian juggling club.  Ace Reporter Amanda wields her trusty, if anachronistic camera,
perhaps the source of some of these blurry photos. 

At Long Last, A Snow Day in Northern Virginia

Snow 016

The snow that my daughter has yearned for all winter here in Virginia finally arrived early this morning.  Understandably, this first significant, inordinately late snow of the season is a much-anticipated weather event.  All week long every local TV station has had their Storm Watch coverage going full force.  Giddy newscasters reported from points as yet untouched by snow, assuring us that the flakes were on their way.  Usually, when this happens, it’s either a huge deal, like the blizzard of December 2009 that shut down the DC area for a week, or it’s a complete and utter bust.  This was different; it fell somewhere in between.

Not a flake had descended at midnight last night.  When we awoke this morning, it didn’t look like much, just a minimal coating on the ground and a fine snow floating down.  But more was emphatically promised.  Forecasts called for heavy snow all day and into the night.  Schools, the Federal government, and many offices were closed. Even H’s office was closed, which is very rare indeed.

Once D and I went out to walk Kiko, enormous, sloppy flakes the size of mini-snowballs began pelting, and quickly drenching us.  It was like walking in a heavy, thick, wet rain.  It was not especially pleasant.

The snow continues to fall thickly now.  D is at a friend’s house sledding, and H is out on the driveway with his never-before-used snow blower.  He knew the snow was probably too wet, but he had to give the new toy a try.  It’s kicking up an impressively wide spray of white slush. I hope both D and H are happy.  Kiko and I are.  We’re inside, warm and dry, and we plan to stay that way.

Kiko in Snow

Kiko doesn’t seem to mind wearing his coat, which keeps him somewhat dry.  He doesn’t like rain, and this snow bears a strong resemblance to rain.

Snow 021

Kiko has had enough of the fat white rain.  Time to go in and dry off.

North to the Sugar Shack: Cartwright’s Maple Tree Inn

Last weekend, we drove to upstate New York for pancakes. Not just for pancakes.  Pancakes and maple syrup.  We met H’s family at Cartwright’s Maple Tree Inn, a glorified sugar shack located, really, in the middle of nowhere.  Its actual address is County Road 15A, Angelica, NY (2 miles from Short Tract), which, in the language of our GPS system, is “not on any digitized road.”  Despite its truly out-of-the-way location in the midst of snow-covered fields, it’s a popular spot, with big crowds on weekends.  It’s only open during the maple sugar season, which typically runs from mid-February through March or mid-April, depending on the weather.  H’s family has been trekking out to Cartwright’s for decades, and now it’s among our winter traditions, even though our drive is far longer.  Of course, we don’t return directly to Virginia, but spend the weekend visiting H’s family in Rochester.

Rochester 021

The Cartwrights began producing maple syrup on their farm in the 1850s.  The Maple Tree Inn dates from 1963, when the family decided to build a restaurant specializing in Grandma’s buckwheat pancakes served with their own maple syrup.  In the adjacent shop, the syrup, maple butter and maple sugar cakes became available directly to the public.  The somewhat ramshackle building has been expanded over the years and is now fairly large.  It will win no awards for architectural style, but that’s not the point.  In the chain-store sameness that dominates so much of our country today, the Maple Tree Inn offers a unique, quirky, authentic experience.  It’s living history, and it’s worth a visit.

Before I met my husband, I had never tasted true maple syrup.  The first time we ate together at PJ’s Pancake House in Princeton, I was surprised to see him pull a small container of pure maple syrup from his pocket.  At the time, PJ’s didn’t serve the real stuff, although that has since changed.  I didn’t understand what the big deal was.  Growing up, when Daddy made pancakes on Saturday mornings, we used the typical supermarket syrup–Log Cabin, Aunt Jemima–whatever.  H was no food snob, so I found his insistence on unadulterated maple syrup mystifying.  That is, until that day at PJ’s, when I tasted the liquid from that little jar.  H was right.  There is no topping the perfection of the stuff that comes straight from the tree.

Visitors to the Maple Tree Inn are welcome to descend into the building’s lower level to learn how the sap is boiled down, in huge wood-fired evaporators, to its golden maple essence.  Several years ago, a Cartwright grandson, no more than twelve or so,  gave us a comprehensive tour that began in the frozen fields where we could examine the taps on the trees and see the liquid running into the buckets.  As far as I know, this is not an option at IHOP.

These days, the rarified nuances of maple syrup, like those of chocolate, coffee and small-batch whiskies, are earnestly discussed at considerable length, using wine-lingo terms such as terroir.  H doesn’t do this, although he can and does enjoy discerning, in blind taste tests, the variations between light, medium, and dark amber syrups.  My palette will never attain such a degree of sophistication, but I can say this: a little true maple syrup makes life sweeter.

Rochester 010
The snowy landscape behind the Maple Tree Inn.
Rochester 014
Kiko and I walk through the surrounding fields before I join the others for lunch.

Rochester 018

Kiko keeps vigil in the car during our meal.  Animal advocates need not be alarmed–he has his sheepskin bed and blanket if he needs to hunker down for warmth.  Before this trip, in case it was particularly cold, we bought him a red plaid fleece coat.  The temperature wasn’t low enough to warrant it, and he appeared perfectly comfortable, peering out from the front seat, when we returned.  For his wait, he was rewarded with an extra sausage patty H’s grandmother had carefully saved for him.

016

Kiko and D atop a tall snowpile on an earlier visit to Cartwright’s, in 2009.  Kiko looks almost exactly the same as he did four years ago, when he was two.  D, on the other hand, has changed.

006
We stocked up at the Maple Tree Inn.

In a Snippy Household, the One Who Will Not Talk Back

As my last post attests, my family and I tend to be a touchy bunch around each other. We are polite and well-behaved when we mix in society at large.  We don’t pick fights; we don’t brood over perceived insults dealt out by acquaintances or the general public.  But when we’re at home together, just the three of us, it may be a different story.  We are not an unhappy family.  Nor are we always indignant or incensed.  We have many moments of placid, content complacency, substantial periods of harmony.  But when something sets one of us off, we’re all going over the edge, and quickly.  Watch out.  (See, for example, An Evening of Discontent, Part II: The Big Family Dog-Walking Fight, October 2011.)

 

At home, our finely tuned radar is on near-constant alert for the slightest hint of sarcasm, negativity, discourtesy of tone or, heaven help us, an ill-chosen word.  The faintest traces of insult or anger, whether real, or more typically, imagined, rarely elude us.  With the barest minimum of words exchanged, we may be suddenly engulfed in a family-wide conflagration.  When this happens, nothing helps but time, and time apart.  With some stomping and huffing, we retreat to our own respective areas in the house.  Sometimes, from my husband and daughter, the stomping is accompanied by loud whistling.  Speech is pointless for a while, because we will be certainly be misunderstood.

But one member of our family maintains an admirably even keel. Our dog is either above, or beneath all this drama. Kiko never reacts badly, never acknowledges an insult, and he never makes a cutting remark.

I talk to Kiko a lot.

When he and I are home alone during the day, I keep up a running, one-sided conversation, heavy on the exclamation points. It’s typical, mindless doggie talk: Hello sweet baby! Are you the sweetest little fella? Of course you’re the sweetest fella! You’re such a velvety baby! You have the best fur! Are you the best old angel?  Of course you’re the best old angel! You’re my angel! I love you so much!  I just love you!  Sometimes I tell him, very nicely, of course, that he’s a terrible boy,  a very bad sweetie, just because I can, and it doesn’t matter one whit to Kiko. I think it’s to my credit, at least, that I don’t speak in a high-pitched, artificial tone often preferred when addressing babies and dogs. I use my normal voice to repeat my plodding menu of banalities.

As dogs go, Kiko is not particularly expressive.  He does not gaze into my eyes with love and admiration.  If I want that, I go down the street to see George, the big-hearted golden retriever. Kiko’s response to my ongoing chatter is subtle. My first words may be greeted with the raise of a doggie eyebrow. I’m reminded of Chad Everett, on whom I had a middle school crush when he starred as the charming, handsome Dr. Joe Gannon on TV’s Medical Center. While Dr. Gannon’s lifted brow indicated kindness and concern, Kiko’s indicates an openness to any words of consequence, such as Wanna take a walk? Wanna go for a ride? Want some cheese? To these questions he responds with a head tilt, perhaps followed by a stretch and a vigorous full-body shake.  Barring these welcome phrases, he remains largely inert, with the possible exception of his ears.  Unlike Chad Everett, Kiko has a wide range of motion in his ears, which may move independently of one another as though in vague reply.  Otherwise, he’s utterly, quietly motionless.  If I hover or confine him too long in a hug, he may sigh.  I take this as a signal to back off and shut up.  But that mild protest is as close to a rebuke as he ever makes.

You fellow dog owners understand the benefits of talking to your dog.  As you know, we converse with our dogs not for their sake, but for our own.  It makes us feel better.  For me, there is hardly a situation that cannot be eased, at least a little, by making ridiculous remarks to my dog.  Considering the atmosphere of irascibility that may reign in our household, it’s wonderful to know that no matter what I say to Kiko, peace and equanimity will prevail.   

Kiko002
A typical response from Kiko to my ongoing chatter.

                                           

Early-Morning Irritability

I try not to use my blog to rant about life’s trivial annoyances. But today I’ll risk sounding like a pouty child. This morning, a series of minor nuisances really ticked me off.

It began around 6:20, when I applied myself, with much concentration, to the vexing mystery of the moment—how to get the little rubber ring to stay put on the lid of my daughter’s new thermos. I persisted, but had no success. The bell of the toaster oven dinged. Because I had devoted too much pointless effort to the thermos, the mini-bagels I had been toasting for D’s breakfast were burned beyond rehabilitation.

It was at this inopportune moment that my husband wandered blithely into the kitchen. He remarked, in all innocence, that he couldn’t understand why D, who is in the process of choosing the classes she will take next year in high school (high school!), needs to continue studying English. She can read. She’s a good writer. What more does she need to know about English?

That comment, following so quickly on the heels of my thermos and bagel difficulties, was the last straw. My poor fragile camel’s back cracked sharply in half. Some say, I responded, through slightly clenched teeth, that there is value in literature. While reading good books is unlikely to lead to a well-paid career . . .no . . . it’s likely to ensure the absence of a well-paid career, it offers some help in coping with life’s disappointments. I stopped there. I did not add this further petulant bitterness: that reading offers the possibility of occasionally eking out some small measure of joy in a world rife with uncooperative thermos rings, annoying toaster ovens and clueless husbands whose idea of enlightening reading is an online windsurfing forum. H wisely kept quiet until he left for work.

And then Kiko and I went out for our walk. Another lovely light snow had fallen. I expected that the walk would lighten my mood. But no. Paved surfaces were far more slippery than I had expected, and Kiko insisted on attempting a break-neck pace, determined to run, if not in the road, then as close to it as possible, where the cars were hurtling by us more aggressively than usual. The salt from the road frequently stung his paws, prompting him to limp flamboyantly, one foot in the air, yet without lessening his speed. I had to repeatedly kneel down to brush the snow from his paw pads. An icy, gusty wind whipped the snow into my eyes, and the blue glare of the sun on the white ground was blinding. My ears were wet and freezing under my scarf, while my hands were too hot in my mittens. I was reminded vividly of why I find skiing so unpleasant. Our morning outing was an ordeal to be suffered through.

On a happier note, it sure is good to be back home.  Alone, except for my silent dog, now sleeping peacefully in another room.

*******************************************************

H telephoned later, warning me about the icy roads and clearly trying to appease my irrational meanness.  I’m feeling better now.  As Gilda Radner’s Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say:  Never mind.

Cold AM 006
It was a beautiful morning to be annoyed.

                     

What is this White Stuff?

 

Snow! 021

We woke up this morning, unexpectedly, to snow.  It wasn’t a lot of snow, but it was enough to cover the yard and nicely powder the trees and shrubs, to give the world a sort of winter facelift.  It’s been ages since we’ve seen snow here in northern Virginia, so it was a welcome sight.  Schools were delayed two hours, giving my daughter, a snow fanatic, the chance to enjoy it.  The snow piled up prettily on the nandina berries, above.

Today’s snow is pleasant, attractive and manageable.  I don’t miss the winters of constant snow, as my daughter does.  When she was in preschool and kindergarten, seems like every Friday from December through February brought just enough accumulation to shut down the schools.  The prospect of another snow day overjoyed her as much as it exhausted me.  I don’t look back fondly on the  years of blizzard after blizzard.  I hated the many transportation worries.  Will the schoolbus make it through?  Will the steeply winding road home be passable?  Should I cancel that appointment? What havoc will be wreaked by those drivers who have no business venturing out in such weather?  Will my husband get stuck behind someone who is unwisely inching up the long hill, again?  Will D and I be left to try to shovel the driveway alone, anxiously awaiting roadside updates from H?

The snowy weather ceased, of course, once H bought a snowblower.  While he’s been itching to give it a try, I wouldn’t mind if he doesn’t need it again this winter.  Or, maybe, to please him and D, he could use it just once.  For their sake, I wouldn’t mind one lovely deep snow.  While I’m wishing, I’ll wish for the flakes to start falling some Friday night after we’re all safely home.

Snow! 014

The yard was covered, just barely, with snow.  The trees and bushes were powdered white.

Snow! 018

Kiko seemed to have completely forgotten that he had ever experienced snow before.  He found it strange but exhilarating. 

Snow! 011

The first glimpse of the sun in the sky this morning could have been lifted from a Currier and Ives print.

The Gingerbread Village Relocates and Plays to a Younger Audience

003

As a toddler, our daughter’s favorite playthings were the various trappings of Christmas.  She had little use for actual toys if holiday decorations were at hand.  This led to occasional minor heartbreaks when fragile tidbits fell to pieces in her insistent little fingers, but generally she knew how to handle with care.

The first year that I unpacked the gingerbread village in Virginia, D was at my side, bubbling with excitement.  She greeted each structure with much admiration, and I was duly flattered.  She helped me arrange the buildings, some in the center of the dining room table, others atop the hutch.  D could spend hours sitting on the table, setting up various inhabitants among the houses and churches, talking to herself, happily lost in her imagination.  The village might host our clothespin nativity figures one day.  The felt Christmas mice, or a crowd of Polly Pocket dolls might have the run of the place the next day.  The possibilities were nearly endless, just like a child’s busy, growing mind.

D proved to have a knack for creating attractive baked goods.  At age three, she was a surprisingly skilled sugar cookie baker.  She turned out to be a natural with a pastry bag; her royal icing decorations were top-knotch.   Before long, she was asking to help me make a gingerbread house.  I realized that she would, indeed, be a capable assistant.

Our first mother-daughter collaboration was a modest cottage.  I gave my daughter fairly free reign in terms of decoration, so it was a colorful dream of candy and icing.  The next year, we decided to go big.  We made an elaborate, turreted gingerbread castle.  It was an appropriately exuberant candy palace for a girl who chose to wear a different princess costume every day.

Because I couldn’t face the daunting task of properly sealing, packing and storing the gingerbread village, it became a permanent display in our playroom. Our old house, as I’ve said before, is lacking in closets, and our basement used to flood with every hard rain. The absence of the perfect spot to store the village was a good excuse to simply keep it out all year long. D was glad to have it as a constant companion. Every new holiday brought another chance to redecorate.  Our Christmas village had become a town for all seasons.

007

008

D, nearly three, arranges the clothespin Mary and baby Jesus
on the roof of the thatched cottage.

From Little Pumpkin to Halloween Jack-‘O-Lantern

It’s an easy and logical progression from pumpkin to jack-o’-lantern.  Mother/baby Halloween parties across the country are crowded with crawling, crying, babbling, drooling, toddling jack-o’- lanterns.  Our first Halloween event was typical.

001

The three jack-o’-lanterns at our Halloween playgroup party are assembled here for a photo opp.  The middle pumpkin took offense, perhaps at the indignity of being sandwiched between two other pumpkins.

3 pumpkins

She continued to protest, loudly and forcefully.  The other two pumpkins seemed mildly interested, at best.

J's 1st Halloween

After the party, D relaxed at home by quietly ripping the flaps off a seasonal pop-up book.

004

We reused D’s jack-o’-lantern costume on her second Halloween.  As we had expected, our not-quite-two-year-old voiced no protest at having worn that same old thing last year. On her first Halloween, she was not yet walking, and the costume proved cumbersome for a crawler.  Here, at our Gymboree party, she enjoyed being a jaunty pumpkin on the move, walking, running, jumping, and bouncing.

005

On D’s first Halloween, we went with some of our playgroup friends to an afternoon celebration geared to young children at the local mall.  We couldn’t justify trick-or-treating on behalf of a baby in a stroller.  But on year 2, we hit our neighborhood.  Up to this point, I had limited our daughter’s exposure to candy.  She got a few sweet treats, but, as the baby books advised, not many.  That Halloween, however, the jig was up. The great wealth of the candy universe opened up to her like a treasure chest unearthed, and she rejoiced.  While Kit-Kats were initially her favorite chocolate, she quickly developed an eclectic, enthusiastic palette.  Here, she sits in a trance-like state savoring a lollipop, the contents of her trick-or-treat pumpkin spread around her in what was then the bareness of our kitchen.

Looking Back on our Little Pumpkin

When my daughter and I were choosing our Halloween pumpkins last week at a pleasant local farm market, we were surrounded by parents photographing their little ones among the seasonal displays.  Babies and pumpkins look good together; it’s a natural fit.  Both tend to be round, fat, cute and firm.  Facebook is understandably full of adorable pumpkin/baby duos this time of year.  Our baby is no longer pumpkinesque, which is fortunate, considering she’s nearly fourteen.  But I’m prompted to look back on the years when she was, very much so.

001

On our first trip to the pumpkin patch with our daughter, the chill of the late afternoon took us by surprise. We had dressed D in soft overalls and a Scandinavian-style fleece jacket, the first of a series that my mother would sew for her over the years.  But either Mama hadn’t yet made the matching fleece hat, or we didn’t think she’d need it.  Her baseball cap clearly didn’t keep her warm, and her lack of mittens didn’t help either.  Her little feet must have been freezing, in lightweight cloth tennies.  In these photos, it’s painfully evident that the kid, not quite ten months old, was borderline miserable but making the best of a bad situation.  She looks as though she’s thinking Where are we? What are these cold round shapes?  Why do they make me sit on such scratchy stuff or on a hard, icy seat?  I do, however, rather enjoy being pulled around on this thing.   

002

Here, D is wedged in on the Radio Flyer between pumpkins and the bulky camera bag we were never without during those early years.  We had bought our first video camera in anticipation of our new baby, and, like so many new parents, we filmed our growing child during unremarkable moments. Look!  She’s tilting her head!  Look!  She’s blinking her eyes!  She’s lifting her hand!  Amazing!  Marvelous!  No doubt we have extended live footage that documents her discomfort on this outing even more clearly.

2nd Pumpkin patch

The next year, we made sure to choose a warmer day for pumpkin picking.  Here is our girl surrounded by pumpkins on another red wagon.  Despite the more comfortable temperature, she still doesn’t appear to be very happy.   But I’ve never appreciated a photographer’s insistence on BIG SMILES!  I remember this day as being a fun-filled one.  I’m hoping our baby, despite her conspicuous lack of a big smile, nevertheless enjoyed herself.  I resolve to think she did, because in the years to come she would look forward enthusiastically to pumpkin patch visits. 

003

004

2nd Pumpkin patch 2

Maybe now she’s really had enough!